The true and sacred act of forgiveness has been lost to us. We have been conditioned to a limited understanding of what constitutes true forgiveness, often by the misrepresentative ’teachings' of religion. Conscious evolution, with its emphasis on conscious communication for a new paradigm, is calling us to reclaim the true act of forgiveness.
The act of forgiveness is fundamentally altruistic yet has been grossly distorted throughout history by a misaligned religious culture. When forgiveness is sought or given by one who is consciously unawakened it can be expressed and experienced as a disempowering or “power over” dynamic. However, when forgiveness is offered by one who is consciously aware it is empowering for both parties.
The true act of forgiveness is a unifying one. However, anything other than this can prove to be polarising in that the one who is ‘forgiven’ is often viewed through a lens of disempowering blame and shame, which gives rise to feelings of guilt and so on. This scenario of forgiveness never truly allows for ongoing peace to be the outcome for both parties.
Forgiveness can polarize people into a ‘right' or ‘wrong’ and ‘good’ or ‘bad’ mentality. New paradigm consciousness invites us not to forgive in the old dysfunctional and conditioned sense, but to, instead, deeply understand. The experience and energy of feeling deeply understood facilitates and cultivates peace and harmony between the one who is deeply understanding and the one who is feeling deeply understood.
Feeling the Difference between Forgiving and Deep Understanding
When you have a moment, try to set aside some time to feel into the difference between forgiving (in the respect of right-or-wrong-good-or-bad old paradigm conditioning) versus deep understanding (in alignment with new paradigm consciousness).
Think of someone whose actions you feel the need to forgive. How does the thought of forgiving them feel for you? Now, gain a sense of how this may feel for the other.
Try now to gain a sense of how you and they might feel if you offered them only your deep understanding.
Now think of someone that you feel you need forgiveness from. How does it feel if you imagine being forgiven? How do you imagine the other might feel for having forgiven you?
Now, imagine how it might feel if you were deeply understood by the one you needed forgiveness from. And, how they might feel having offered you deep understanding.
Unless we are forgiving from a place of deep understanding, heart connection, and conscious awareness, then this truly sacred act (in its purest expression) continues to separate (subtly or overtly) rather than unify and harmonise. It takes heart-to-heart communication and deep listening to understand the ‘forgiver' and the ‘forgiven’, and to thus empower both.
Deep understanding requires us to consider the psychology, history and feelings of ourselves and the other. It invites us to sit together in interested curiosity as to what triggered and what was really behind the action that caused the upset. True forgiveness gifts us with healing and growth, opens our hearts, and supports us to consciously evolve.
Deep understanding also invites us to cultivate the same quality of care towards ourselves. We do not sit in blame or shame but rather in interested curiosity. We ask ourselves what was the need behind our own or another’s action that caused the upset, and contemplate the need within ourselves, or the other, that, in that situation, could not be met.
True forgiveness is compassion, empathy and unconditional love; it brings resolution and peace to those who are willing to deeply listen and deeply understand.